Saturday, September 13, 2008

A Piece of Cake

There are many things in this world that are definitely easy. Things like sleeping in, watching the lawn boy cut your grass, or eating a delicious bowl of swirl ice cream while deciding which on demand movie to order on a Saturday night. But one thing that's definitely NOT simple is completing the entire voting ballot on election day. Now bear with me folks because I know how sick and tired you are of all the political diarrhea now. It's all over the place and we have another month and a half left of it before the big day.

But I think the whole voting process should be simplified. I don't think voting in a competent matter should be so hard. I mean really why does picking our political leaders have to feel like a multiple choice pop quiz? If you're anything like me then you know exactly what I'm talking about. You rush into the polling place before work or maybe even on your lunch hour to fulfill your democratic obligation of what makes this free country so great. And you're faced with a ballot with scores of names and amendments and choices that you've never seen or even heard of before this critical moment. God help me so I don't guess wrong you're thinking. The fate of the very country is now riding on your shoulders at this crucial moment in time.

Of course everyone knows at least a little bit of info about the presidential and vice presidential candidates. If you don't then you're a complete moron or maybe you live in the deep forested regions of the Rocky Mountains in Wyoming. They don't have civilization there anyway right? Anyway, beyond the president and vice president you may have heard of a few of the senator, congressional, and gubernatorial candidates but what about all those other ones? Like the 2nd seat for city council in district 15 of providence 8 in the 3rd ward of the sub county of Leeward township. Exactly! What in the hell is that?! And of course there are 23 names of people you've never even heard of running for seat #2! See... now you feel my pain. Uugghh!!

So here's my solution. With all the technology available the majority of all precincts have went to an electronic touch screen for voting. This needs to be put in place in 100% of all voting precincts. Just add it on to the national debt if needed. We're Americans and credit cards are a way of life anyway. And besides the much advanced and yet simple process that I'm about to propose will allow millions upon millions of citizens make reasonable choices when voting so it'll be well worth it. Ok so onto the good stuff...

The next thing that needs to happen is that all candidates running for all offices across the United States have to submit their official positions on all major issues facing the American people to their respective election boards. Then a computer program is developed to create an electronic questionnaire of these major issues and the level of importance to the voter. The voter (you and me) will then fill out the short multiple choice questionnaire based on our personal beliefs before voting using the electronic voting machines. After we enter our answers to all the major issues then the computer automatically matches our personal views with the candidate for each position that most closely coincides with our choices. We can either vote for that candidate or choose to vote for any of the other candidates running for that particular position.

And that my friends would be a piece of cake!!